Losing Someone

Serenity · Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 1:26 pm Post subject: Losing Someone

It's a sad fact of getting older that we lose family members and friends. Sometimes its so hard, you think your life will never be the same, and that you will never be happy again. Thankfully this isn't true, life goes on, and with time becomes more bearable and eventually you start to enjoy things again. It's great if you have someone to talk to, I felt it was better to talk about the person who'd died. Sometimes we are scared to, and think people won't want to listen to us, but it's great remembering the good times we shared with the ones we lost, and talking about it.

This section will be dedicated to those memories. A place to talk about how we felt, and still feel. A place to help each other deal with our losses, and offer our advice

pompeylil · Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 4:34 pm Post subject:

Hello Serenity. As i said in my other posting, I lost my lovely husband in march after a 5 year battle with a lung disease. I miss him so much.
The pain feelslike it was only yesterday. I didn't know how i would get through it.
But with the help of my lovely daughter, her 4 smashing children and my very good friends, I'm not doing to bad.
I think this page is a good idea for those who are not as lucky as me to have such friends. And i hope they find new friends at a time when they need it most....Jackie

Amber · Member User Online: Joined: 28 Sep 2007 Posts: 381

10 yrs xmas we lost our brother to a tragic accident , we were devasted ,

It was made easier by coming from a big family (9) we supported each other, my sister turned to drink but thankfully she soon stopped.

The support from our own hubbies and kids helped a great deal.

It is true ppl do not know what to say to you at these sad times but i found talking about him helps.

You never get over it---- but learn to live with it,
Strange that i was up the crem this morning talking to him and yes today i did get upset, i was telling him all about my 1st granchild even showed him some photo's, he also loved kids.

Always talk to your passed loves one , they hear you , even when your angry with them for leaving you, and they are with you

I'll stop there now.

Serenity · Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:03 am Post subject:

I can still feel your rawness Amber

It's great to go talk to him, and share things. I often have words with passed ones, and remember them when doing the odd little thing and smile to myself. Or say to the kids, 'hey grandma would be laughing now', and they giggle about the things she used to do. Thank goodness our memories don't get taken away too

Selious5 · Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2007 6:49 pm Post subject:

Yes - I too have experienced the loss of my sister. She was 41 and contracted cancer. I live in Scotland but she had moved to England and we didn't see each other as you would if she had stayed nearer. We didn't find out about it until she was taken into hospital in December and she was gone by the beginning of February. My home is the place where everyone runs to in the family even my cousins and you know - that is a big burden and responsibility because you hear statements like "get Anna..."
"Anna's here ........

I went down to nurse my sister for the last 10 days and there was one thing that stuck in my mind. I was a teacher and the Head teacher said to me when I asked for leave was - "sometimes there is nothing you can do - you have to let them go" - she was correct. The last 12 hours I prayed to God not to save her but to take her - she had fought the fight

Death is a strange thing - In some cases it can give you a strength you never thought you had

redhead · Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2007 7:42 pm Post subject:

Cancer is so cruel to be taken so young and I understand you asking god to take her she had fought a hard battle and her battle is over , at least you have some happy memories and it does help talking about her , although painful time is a healer but you never forget .

Selious5 · Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2007 10:22 pm Post subject:

You are so right Red

Sad to say but similarly - I feel that all this re-hash about Diana should be stopped. I am aware that Dodi's father probably wants closure and justice for his son if he has suspicions of intent rather than accidental death but I can;t help but feel that despite this hearing the answer will still be same as it has been all those years. There comes a time to let the dead go and look to the living. 10 years is long enough
Let her rest in peace

Serenity · Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:52 am Post subject:

Amen to that !

I lost my mum-in-law about 5 years ago now. I used to semi-care for her, going in three mornings per week. I'd do her housework, washing, ironing. I'd shower her, wash her, dress her. She was such a caring soul, a laugh a minute, kind of eccentric in the most charming of ways. She had been a big woman too most of her life, around 6 foot 2 in height and and very well built. I saw her waste away to what can only be described as a walking skeleton. She was such a figter and never complained. But those last few weeks, where she just lied in her bed dying, were heartbreaking.
Why euthinasia isn't allowed in this country I'll never know. She wasn't concious most of the time and only stirred momentarily, when she was turned in her bed. She didn't eat, just layed there as if asleep. We used to keep talking to her, sitting with her, she was never alone. Between the family and the nurses we managed round the clock care for her. I too, like you Seli, chatted to her one afternoon, and told her to let go. She'd fought her fight and had lost. I wanted to see her at peace, she knew we were all around and she would be reunited with her husband who had passed quite a few years previous.

She did pass eventually. I still find it hard, even writing this, as I loved her so much, she was a second mum to me

I find it hard on a Saturday afternoon, as we used to take the kids to see her then, and they had so much fun together. There is a big gap in our lives, but I'm so glad that I was priveleged enough to have known and loved this wonderful woman.

redhead · Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 5:08 pm Post subject:

I agree with you Seli its time especially for her boys to let her rest in peace , yes it was very tragic but no amount of inquests will give the answer that Dodi's father wants , its time to let go and put closure on the whole affair ,

jaydee · Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 5:21 pm Post subject:

I lost my husband to lung cancer, in 1997, he was 51, he was such a lovely thoughtful fun loving man & we had 11 wonderful years together he suffered terribly but was never without a laugh & a joke, we never wanted to be parted, & when he knew his time was near he said he didn't want to be put with strangers & wanted to be buried in the garden, this wasn't allowed so a friend suggested i do what she had done with her mother, & that was put her ashes in a planter, that way she would be with her wherever she went, so thats what we did. ( i have been told by some people that i am sick) but i have moved a lot & as you now now live in France, but he came with us, & i talk to him every day, & feel he is here with us. When i met, my present hubby just over 4 years ago, i told him & he didn't have any problem with it at all, in fact he talks to him as well, & when we moved here the first thing he said was don't forget Roy. Sounds silly but i know if they had met they would have been best friends so that helps, i have been lucky & had 2 soul mates & they are both with me.

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JUNE