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daxxxx Member

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Joined: 11 Dec 2007 Posts: 306 Location: Norfolk
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Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 11:41 pm Post subject: Simple home tips |
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1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
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Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, and professionals built the Titanic.
Shirley |
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Serenity CC&S

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Joined: 10 Sep 2007 Posts: 3645 Location: Norfolk UK
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Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:45 am Post subject: |
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lol loved those, especially this one, it could come in handy in my house!!
| Quote: | | . A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. |
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Thumper CC&S

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Joined: 21 Sep 2007 Posts: 1598 Location: Norfolk
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Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 8:11 am Post subject: Re: Simple home tips |
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| daxxxx wrote: | 7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
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You've been hanging around with my Mum far too long shirley.
Some good ones there  _________________ Shelley xx |
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Dreama CC&S

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Joined: 09 Jan 2008 Posts: 349
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Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 12:02 pm Post subject: |
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lmfao at all those, hilarious lol _________________ An egotist has one point in his favor - he doesn't go around talking about other people! |
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