Depression

Serenity · Depression

Have you suffered from depression of any kind? How did you cope? Where did you get help? Was medication the answer, or therapy? Are you still suffering? Share your thoughts and hopefully help someone along the way

pompeylil

Hello.
I dont suffer with depression. But i do get very depressed since my husband died in march. As i have said befor, it is my lovely daughter and her 4 children that keep me going. I have some smashing friends that also help. We often sit and have a laugh about the silly things he got up to.
And i find that also helps me get through it. But it does not make up for my loss.

Serenity

Hi pompey

Thank heavens for friends and family to talk to !

I suffered from post natal depression after the birth of my first son, I'll go into that at a later date.

I do suffer from S.A.D though, which stands for SEasonal Adjustment Disorder, hence me HATING winter lol. Its to do with the amount of natural light you receive, that sets off certain hormones, the feel good ones in a gland behind your eyes/forhead. These hormones are triggered by sunshine, hence some people feel really good and full of life in Summer time. The lack of sunshine and daylight hours during the shorter winter months, can trigger depression from mild to severe, mine is usually mild. I have no energy, and some days feel joyless.

There is a solution that is an alternative to drugs. A light box, which looks kind of like a sunlamp, my mum bought me one as a Christmas present the year before last. You put the lamp on and sit in front of it, me for about 45 minutes per morning. Usually if I'm online I'll have it sat beside me so my eyes take in the rays. Obviously it is a special kind of a lamp, your normal 40 watt bulb lamp wouldnt help. lol I did find that last winter whilst using it, I didn't feel 'low' at all, and I know millions of people swear by it, and the doctor endorses its benefits too.

It did take quite a few years till me and the doc realised it was SAD I was suffering from, so it's worth keeping a check on your moods throughout the year

Amber

I have suffered with depression, was put on tablets which did help,had to see doctor again to see how things were and was gave me script for 2mths ,but i never did get that script cos i really didn't want to become dependent on them.

WIth the love support and help from family i got better .

I ocaasionally now get very down, but now say to myself Stop it you have 3 beatuiful son's,a loving caring, hubby a good home, my health, i have a lot really to be grateful for and kinda of get myself out of it.

redhead

I had depression for 18mths evryone around me could see it ,but Icouldn't always been the strong one of the family ,hit me real bad 3mths after I lost my brother through accident he was 43 , I couldn't eat ,sleep, absolutely no energy ,lost my house as Icouldn't face work and turned to drink ,which helps and hides the pain for a few hours then reality s back so the circle starts again , didn't want to see anyone for months even my own parents and kids used to hide when they came to see me had the phone cut off couldn't bear talking to anyone as it brought back the pain of losing my brother , in the end my daughter came down kicked the door open ,we chatted ,for hours she made the appointment at the docs and basically dargged me up there ,doc put me on prozac ,but I didn't take them as they had bad press ,also sleeping pills which I took and although I was sleeping they gave me a settled nights kip , my daughter stayed with me ,made me eat I. was at the point of being sent to the secure unit for my own safety as I want ed so desperately to end my life but couldn't go through with it because of the guilt I would leave for my kids and family , I saw my doc every week for 6wks and slowly started to turn the corner ,it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do ,but with the support of family I made it back started back to part-time work and had a purpose to live again , I saw the hurt I put on my family , but at the time I couldn't see the harm I was doing . depression is a terrible terrible illness and if you let it , it will take a grip on your life don't ignore it or anyone who has it be patient it will get better.

I still get down sometimes and tell myself" DON'T LET IT CONTROL YOU "

Serenity

Looks like youve both had a hard battle, but so glad you've come out the other side and have taken control of your lives

WTG you, it IS an awful thing depression, but it CAN be overcome with the right help. Bravo to your daughter too, for helping you get the help you needed. (((((((hugs to all of you )))))))) xxxxxxxx

Thumper

You've both done really well to get through it, It helps to have a supportive famliy around you, Big hugs to you both

redhead

thanks serenty and thumper

Selious5

Red - Can't add more my love to what has already been said just send
(((hugs)))

wozza

I suffered from post natal depression after the birth of my eldest 'It affected my relationships with everyone i became very intravert keeping things deep and in other ways i was an extravert (not ways i'm proud of now) My daughter didn't even feel like she was mine for nearly 2 years i put that down to having 3 miscarriages before she was born. Any way when she was 2 i was dagnosed with post natal depression after a friend convinced me that my very angry temper wasn't normal. The doctor put me on anti depressant and for 7 years on and off i took them. Every time i tried to stop taking them i went down hill .Then one day i realised that i hadn't taken my tablets for weeks and yes i was bad tempered but not suicidal any more so i worked through the bad temper , stopped people that were taking me for granted from doing that and eventually got through to the other side. i found that taking the anti depressents made me not exactly vulnerable more gullable ,people i thought were close to me were infact just taking the micky and taking advantage. I have been off the pills for about 7 years now and i think i'm closer to being the real me now than i have been since i lost my babies. I still have hard days like when diana went to live with her dad but i got through it without tablets. Im not saying that tablets arn't right for some people but i do think my doctors over prescribed them every time i tried to come off them they would find the first excuse to put me back on them. Family can be as big a drag as it can a support but i wouldn't be without mine ( except the step mom lol)
I wish anyone suffering from depression all the love in the world it's a lonely place to be but if you open up there are some genuine people out there willing to help and support you
Good luck red i hope the future stays bright for you but if you have a set back don't let it get hold you have been there once you know how dark that place is compaired to the bright place you are now

redhead

my heart goes out to you Wozza you have been through so much and to be on tabs for 7yrs I sometimes think its easier to give out tabs ,when what is really needed is for someone to listen to you .

I'm a lot better now ,to busy working so don't have time to dwell on issues , my real concern these days is the fact my parents are in there late70s and when their time comes how will I cope ,will I go back to that black endless hole again , will I be stronger , I have a close relationship with my parents seeing them 2/3 times a week or on the phone , they have both been so ill lately I get knots in my stomach every time the phone rings late in the evening sometimes quite irrational but the thought is there now days .

hope you have new set of friends who are genuine and there for you .

thanks to everyone for your kind words and love it 'S GREAT

Serenity

((((((((trace)))))))))) I'm so glad you found peace in your life and things are better for you. I can sympathise totally, having suffered from post natal depression too. I battled with myself for months after the birth of my first son. I thought I was Superwoman, strived for a spotless baby and a spotless house, and had to have everything perfect. Tea had to be on the table exact time each day, and If not I'd get myself in a state. I used to wake in the night searching the bed for my baby, who was asleep in his moses basket beside me. It was terryfying! I started catastrophising, thinking things like, what if I trip over with my baby and drop him and he dies, really odd thoughts like that.

I had to call the doctor out one night to my baby who was poorly, and luckily the doc picked up on my depression and asked me to come see him in surgery the next day. I did, we talked, and I went on Prozac. Which he assured me is non addictive. It did help. But over the years as I'd come off, I would slip down again, and go back on them. It didn't help I'd had constant chronic back pain since the birth of my son. Like you Trace, I was on and off them for years, over 10. I did go to see a stress counsellor too, who really helped put things into perspective. What would happen if tea wasn't on the table at a certain time? NOTHING lol!! We'd just eat later, it DIDN'T matter!! In the end I took myself off of the anti depressants, and I've learned to deal with things differently

I also got my back fixed!! Which helped no end. I still have cranky days, and I always worry too much but thats in my genetic make up, I can't change that. The S.A.D I can cope with using my light box, so thats not a real problem either.

I think we all need a pat on our backs and a group hug!! ((((((((((((Friends))))))))))))) xxxxxx

wozza

Thanks Serenity and Red i know what you mean about your parents
My Mom died when i was seven too young to really deal with that and what that meant but over the last 7 years my dad and i have become as close as we were when i was small before the dreaded step mom.He lives 9 doors up the road and although i dont see him every day he just wanders down for a coffee whenever he fancies it he even uses my house to hide in when all the little grand kids call and it's getting too noisy for him lol i often come home from work to find him dosing on the setee with the tv on full blast ( cost he is going deaf which he wont admit lol)
But it does terrify me that i won't cope when he goes.I'm the one they all turn too for support even my elder brother and sister and even my step brother. But when dad goes i just cant even think about it. But i just hope it's not for a long time in fact i keep telling him it's only the good that die young so he's here till we have all gone cos he's a bugger lol
Thanks for the hugs and i agree we all need a great big pat on the back for getting through it and heres to none of us ever going back there

Selious5

I have never suffered from depression but to those here on the board posting let me just say how much I admire your strength and will power of not only coping with this but also with in some cases young ones.

((((HUGS))))

and loads of love

redhead

Oh sod it

I can't hide it any more I feel the black hole creeping up on me , took a week of work coz I was getting so stressed out everything is caving in , going wrong try hard to shake it of havve a laugh ( postings ) but it's still there lurking in the background , niggling away like an annoying little b.......... right that's enough get back to norm

Serenity

(((((((((((((((((Julie))))))))))))))))) you might be suffering from S.A.D hunni, the end of January is the worst for a lot of people including me! Xmas is long back, spring seems a way off yet, and there doesn't seem much to look forward to, add that with dark sunless days and it makes you feel really blue

. Keep hanging in there !!! and I would seriously suggest, if you get some free pennies, to invest in a 'light box'. All you have to do is turn it on and put it beside you for 30-45 mins per day, I used to put it on while I sat and ate my brekkie in the mornings, and it really boosts your mood. My mum borrowed mine just after Xmas as her mood went blue, and she says its worked wonders for her too like it did me

Make sure you're taking enough time out for yourself too, with lots of pampering, and if the weathers not too bad, a good brisk daily walk gets the endorphins going and can lift your mood

Thumper

(((((Julie))))). Try to stay positive and busy. And I agree with Deb about the light box, it did work for our Mum, she was a lot brighter after using it.

remember we are all here for you

redhead

Thanks guys will look into the light box , where do you get them ?

Amber

DON'T GO THERE!!!! You know where to come, and i have noticed---
I know the reason and it will be sorted , however you really must talk to parents. They are both on the mend with the latest lot of probs, and there be around for a long time yet, no worries..

Dont you dare go back ,think of the future you will be ok . I promise. ((((hugs))) dont start bubblin

redhead

cheekychops

u can get them boxes from boots ,

Serenity

from Boots priced at £74.99.....i'll have a look on e-bay for you, hopefully get it cheaper

Serenity

Well I've had a look around the net, and they are quite expensive elsewhere, so looks like the Boots one, is a good contender, if you have that sort of money to spare. Make sure you get the light box, and not a SAD alarm clock

The clocks wake you up naturally with a LED light, whereas the boxes you put beside your PC, or where ever you sit so you are exposed to the light, for a certain amount of time per day. Good luck x

redhead

thanks Debs , sister's got one she gonnna bring over weekend , but been so busy this week I've been ok !!!!!!!

redhead

Well I tried the light box , but it, s not working for me

today been real bad day went back to work just can't cope everything feels like it's slowly strangling me came home early spoke to my boss he had me in tears down the bloody phone, never said nothing bad just trying to be supportive and made me feel 10 times worse

off the rest of work but can pop in work for chat/coffee phone him at any time , me thinks I'll have to visit doc's grrrrrrrrrrrrrr don't want the tabs thank god for chit/chat something pos to do although chilbi you can come over with your mad sense of humour could be the tonic I NEED!!!!!!!!

Thumper

Aww Hun, sorry to hear you're feeling so bad, sending a big hug your way, You are very lucky to have such a nice boss too, keep trying with the light box though

If not I think you should go back to the Docs, and have the tablets, just to help you for a few months

Remember we are all here for you xx

Serenity

Aww (((((((((((Julie))))))))))) keep your chin up. the thing with the light box, same as anti - depressants, they take a while to work. It could take a few months to get your seratonin levels up to what they should be, so it's something you have to stick at, and do it every day without fail. Saying that, it's no use struggling, go to your docs, and see what he has to offer. Tablets aren't the end of the world, I was on them for many years, just to keep me ticking over. Even better, they aren't addictive like they were many years ago, so there is no trouble in stopping them.

At the end of the day, there is no excuse for letting yourself carry on feeling like this, and unfortunatley YOU are the only one who can help, by helping yourself and seeking a docs opinion

Good luck hunni, and like Shelley said, we are all here for you!! Keep us informed XXXXXXXX

redhead

well wish I never went !!!! got stress no surprise , low blood pressure, blood test, throat swab for glandular fever WHAT thats known as the kissing disease huh can't be ain't kissed nobody

get results next week !!!!!!! keep using light box no tabs

Serenity

I hope the light box helps soon the Ju, like I said give it time, and make sure you use it everyday too

With Spring just around the corner too, you'll be up in no time.

I had a glandular virus when I was about 14 ish, can make you feel really low, and would explain why you feel how you do. Like with all viruses theres nothing they can give you either, but fingers crossed you haven't got it

If you need to talk any time Julie, just pm me

xxxxxxx

knewlove

ok I've scrolled and read thru this thread enuff...and it's about time I posted to it! First of all Kudos on the thread topic. Depression is Something that affects ALL of us at some point in our lives. It is nothing we should feel ashamed talking about.

I sufferered a deep, dark depression in my 20's but I got out of it with the help of 1st - a divorce, 2nd - some antidepressants, and 3rd - some counselling. I still feel 'sad' and 'down' from time to time but nothing like I went thru before. The saying 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' is so true! I just want others to know I hear/feel their pain and understand what they are going through and if there is anything I can do to help just ask. I promise not to recycle too much advice

I have often thought about investing in a light box....sure could use some Springtime up my northern Alberta way..but that won't be for a couple more months

but at least it's almost March and then it will be April and the sun might come in May and June and we might see daffodils and other early signs of Spring then ..and then sure as the suns sets it will be summer in July and August! Can't wait!

Serenity

I think it's a great thing to be able to share our experiences. Often, sadly, these things are not talked about enough! The more we talk about it, the more we realise we aren't alone, and that many of us for different reasons have all been through the same dark times. It's great we can get comfort from knowing this, and help each other

ok has to be done ((((((((((((((group hug)))))))))))))))) lol !!

Forgive my Geographical ignorance Kris, in Alberta, does the sun come up at all during Winter?

knewlove

It does rarely tho! We live near the 60th parallel (we used to live further north in the NorthWest Territories (over the 60th parallel) where they have 10 months of winter and 2 months of summer. In the winter time there is maybe 4 hours of daylight. In the summer it is like 24 hours of daylight! But the mosquitos and bugs are horrendous!!! What could be a beautiful summer the insects make it not worth it! You go outside for 10 minutes and get bit by 300 huge mosquitos!
We have moved a few hours south of there now. Winter usually lasts from October to May and we get 4 months of summer and the insects aren't as bad. From Nov - Jan we get maybe 6 hours of daylight. We are getting more now as we approach March but will still have winter for at least 3 more months. But the summer are very pleasant here.

Serenity

Wow I couldnt handle winters that lastest that long! Im deffo a summer person, 10 months of summer two of winter would suit me just fine

Plus to live somewhere that had 24 hours of darkness would just drive me insane.

knewlove

Speaking of...lol....this might sound crazy lol

has anybody ever had an epiphany? (not in the religious sense) but that something just comes together. I had one the other day. I have them once in a while but not nearly enough. But all of a sudden the fog in my head just lifted from my whole being and I exhaled...gawd did that feel great!!! Every muscle in my body just relaxed!

In those moments of clarity I realized just how bitchy and snappy, moody and negative I'd been over the last couple months (prob due to winter, stress, work, etc etc). But everything was clear and I felt alive and love and inspired and in the moment. I had no worries or anxieties. Nothing negative (past, present or future) seemed to matter.

Gawd I wish I could keep that positive frame of mind all the time!

Serenity

It's a pity we are human Kris! lol It's all too easy to get wound up over the silliest of things. I try to keep positive, and sometimes I just have to step back from a situation and say to myself, calm down you're overreacting, does it really matter?? It would be great to have calmness 24/7 and float along on the breeze, but then, we'd be dull and boring ! lol

redhead

well at last got results not glandular fever , I feel 10 times better then I did but still using the light box the heaviness in my head is going and feeling more able to cope ,pressure at work has lifted as one of the girls as taken on some of my work load for a couple of months to help out even boss agreed to take on a temporary staff !!!!! to cover the skivers !!!! the w/end away did me real good and now got a holiday to look forward to later in the year bonus so @ present things looking good . by the way been watching gmtv in the morning and this week as been about depression some interesting bits on there plus there now saying the anti-depressants don't work !

Never had a epihpany but it sounds good if your cloudy head is gone and you see things in a more posititve light my it continue

knewlove

I'm glad to hear you don't have glandular fever hon xxx...
Spring does seem to lift those clouds in our heads...

In my experience anti-depressants do work..but it depends on a lot of other factors.
According to studies certain anti-depressants work for some but not for others as well it is a matter of trial and error to find out what drug is right for you.
I started out with Effexor which for the first few days made me feel sick, out of touch, like I was seeing double, racy, anxious, and generally more crazy lol - it didn't help me much at first...but after about 3 weeks I started to feel its effects and was okay with it.... but I still felt numb and cold and neither felt up or down or felt really anything while I was on it.
I went off them as I didn't feel they were really helpful and maybe too strong for me.
I was then prescribed Paxil....which was great...a mix of anti-anxiety and anti-depression pills.... boy did it help me with my anxiety and depression....however....it only worked for about two years then I became um..what's the word...immune to it ...basically after about 2 years paxil no longer had any affect on me...
I also was also prescribed lorazipam and diazipam during this time and unfortunately became quite addicted to these pills because of their immediate tranquilizing effect! Thank gawd tho!! my doctor got my off them after I was secretly taking up to 8 pills a day

!
Anyways, several years ago a new doctor prescribed me Celexa - Which is an anti-depressant but it is awesome and has helped me very much and still helps me to this day (7 years later I'm still taking it and it's working for me!) .

Serenity

I'm so glad it isn't Glandular fever Julie

You take it easy and like you say, with something to look forward to it makes things seem better. I'm also glad the light box is helping.

I too agree that anti-deps DO work. Like Kris said it may take a while to find one that suits. I've had two stints on Prozac, first time worked wonders, second time had so many adverse effects I had to stop taking them. After trying this and that I finally ended up on Seroxat (I think if I remember right). It was a mild dose, enough to keep me 'ticking over' so to speak, and it helped no end.I've not needed them for a few years now, just the lightbox in winter is enough.....Like the lightbox, anti-d's help adjust the levels of the 'feel good factor' chemicals in your brain, that are lacking through no fault of your own. Best to think, if it works, don't knock it

Kris, going back to your Diazepam dependancy. I had those for 14 days once when I'd totally put my back out and was bedridden. They were WONDERFUL lol so I can see why people get hooked. The doc said, they were so addictive it was only safe to give 14 days worth otherwise I'd be addicted. You did well to sort yourself out xxxxxxxx

knewlove

Guys, yesterday I was a dumb woman! First, I don't know if I told you or not but I felt it was time to wean myself off Celexa - the anti-depressant and anti-anxiety pill that I've been taking for the last few years. So I took half the dosage for about two 2 weeks and felt no change, then half a pill every other day - still no change, then completely stopped taking them 4 days ago.

I think I am noticing the change now. It's not that I feel more depressed or anything but I am definitely more anxious and have a generalized racy feeling but at least I'm feeling again instead of feeling numb! But I guess as my body adjusts to the changes in serotonin levels I'm prob going to experience a variety of things. But If it gets too bad I'm back on them in a flash!

Anyways, I am not sure whether my stupid behaviour yesterday had anything to do with the discombobulated, absent-mindedness I've had the last couple days being off the anti-depressant but yesterday I took all my meds together like I always do (excluding the Celexa). I took my high blood pressure pills, my high cholesterol pills, my Aspirin, and my doxycycline which I started taking a few months ago to try to clear up some adult onset acne I have on my upper back before summer. Well I always have a couple pieces of toast or a sandwich or something to eat when I take the meds because of the doxycycline which says I HAVE to eat with food, the others I can take with or without food.
When I stopped taking the Celexa a few days ago I also doubled my dosage of the doxycycline to 2 pills/day and 200 mgs instead of the one 100 mg pill. It worked right away and I planned on taking 2 pills a day for the 14 days.

About 30 mins later and after taking all the meds I started to feel nauseous and dizzy. I couldn't figure out why I felt that way and at first thought it was because I was off the Celexa and just adjusting. I thought well I'll have some soup maybe I'll feel better, maybe I'm getting the flu. So I made some chicken noodle soup and as I was heating it up in the micro I almost fainted and had to hold myself up with the counter then it HIT ME - omg I had completely forgotten to eat when I took my meds -esp. the doxycycline -which I had never forgotten to do before let alone 200 mg's of it!!!

So I quickly tried to eat all the noodles in my soup, burned my mouth, I was in a total panic and everything was spinning. I was home alone and thought maybe I was going to die! Then it hit me again in another way- and it was definitely too late for eating and for the next 2 hours I was hugging the toilet vomiting until I finally dry heaved the medicine tasting stuff at the end.

I felt better but tried to force down a cucumber and cheese sandwhich to make sure my stomach had something in it - I had also dumped over my soup on my run to the toilet. For the rest of the day I felt waves of nausea and a bad headache and my shoulder muscles just ached from the violent, tense puking.

I still feel weak and out of sorts today and extremely on edge, agitated and impatient with everything. I will NEVER forget to eat again with my meds. EVER!!!! esp. the doxycycline!
I am going to wait a couple days to see how I am doing before I make a decision about the celexa.

Serenity

Oh bloody hell Kris!!! That must have been so scary

Doxcy' is awful to take without food (good med tho). I think I'd have panicked and rang a doc lol or hubby or anyone!..............Most anti's nowadays don't really have much affect on you when you stop them, when I was on Seroxat I just stopped them instantly after seeing a tv programme about them. But like everything, people vary. Take it slowly and see how you go, like you said, it might just be because you are actually 'feeling' now that you feel strange and jittery, your nerves have been dulled on the meds for a while so its normal.....keep us informed, hope you feel better soon xxxx