Serenity
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Festive One LinersChristmas is in my heart twelve months a year and thanks to credit cards, it's on my Visa card statement twelve months a year also.
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Some of these new toys are so creative and inventive. This year they have a Neurotic Doll. It's wound up already.
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Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Answer: Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.
Question: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
Answer: Forty feet of track - all straight!
Question: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet of handkerchiefs for Christmas?
Answer: She said "I could not work out what size her nose was!
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Thumper
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some good ones there, liked the last one best 
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ImBlonde
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Q: Which athlete is happiest at christmas?
A: A long jumper
Haha, oh I make myself laugh! Some good ones there Debs
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