Self Harming

Serenity · Self Harming

I don't really know much about this. I've never encountered it so would appreciate anyones knowledge on the subject.

Piggypetal

Until this year I never really knew a lot about self harming apart from knowing that some people cut themselves (although there are many forms of SH) to help them cope with issues.

Back in February Amber came home from school and told me she'd been self harming on and off for a few months and she wanted help! She was really scared how we'd react first thing I did was investigate online I'll post some links to some of the better sites yes including the ones that advise on how to SH safely...it isn't something you can just decide to stop doing...we saw our GP who was great she had to wait for counselling in the meantime things got worse for her at school so we made the decision as a family to home educate her...it saved her life I think.

Anyway she was referred to the local CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) and apart from a very minor set back 2 weeks ago she'd been SH clear for 3 months and last week was signed off by CAMHS being she's come so far they feel she can deal with her remaining issues without their intervention anymore.

Anyone going through this can PM me anytime I don't mind I know how much it helps to get things off your chest to someone who has an idea of what you're going through.

I will post more as time goes on but thought I'd share a brief account of our experience for now. Anyone with questions just ask I don't mind.

Serenity

Well a big wtg to Amber for telling you, and all our best wishes to her continued recovery

It must have been a terrifying time for you Sarah. Especially when this isn't something that's talked about much or anyone really understands. We can all identify with bullying, but this is a totally different ball game.

I'm glad you found the help you needed and that things are on the up, and I feel bringing this subject to everyones attention is a great thing to do, and hopefully you can help others by sharing your experiences

Piggypetal

Here's a few links for the sites I used early on just to gather as much information as possible really. They cover all aspects of SH

http://www.palace.net/~llama/selfinjury/

http://www.selfharm.org/

^^This site I posted on a few times early on but they were more a support network for Amber and I they have some downlaodable leaflets too

[url]http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+self-harm.htm#What_is_self_harm_
[/url]

[url]
http://www.childline.org.uk/Self-harm.asp[/url]

http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/selfinjury.php

^^ This one covers all sorts of issues not just self harm so maybe be worth a look if you need info on something else.

Selious5

HI Sarah
It is so good to hear that Amber is really responding. It must also have been an anxious time for all the family as well. You must also go through a period of wondering why this is happening in the first place. Glad you go the correct help from those who deal with this and know how to go about it correctly. The only time I have experienced something like this was with a few pupils at the school but fortunately we had a full time nurse everyday attached to the school and as soon as we realised what was happening everything swung into place through her being notified. Unfortunately this seems to be a more prevalent among young people nowadays for a variety of reasons

Piggypetal

Selious5

It's getting the balance right - isn.t it. On one hand letting her know that she has got control knowing she has the support if she needs time to take the next step and gently encouraging her at times to take that next very small step. You will have been a very good support to her I am sure although I am also sure you will have had your moments to cry out of sight. It's a hard road to follow. You will never forget the journey but one day you and Amber will both be able to look back with an inner peace that the journey has ended

Love and hugs to you both

Piggypetal

Selious5

For a long while Sarah you will worry about a downhill slide and you will probably finding yourself watching as unobtrusively as possible every move she makes as well as trying to think of the correct "casual" questions to ask her if she has been out. Again it is the fine balance of trust isn''t it. Too much smothering or questions that may make her imagine that you don't trust her or a inadvertent word from you to someone else when she is present and which she misconstrues . A great strain. It is so good that you have Darren (husband/partner) who understands and helps because and also your friend. This is when you know you have friends - ones who are prepared to give of their time and who genuinely listen. Crying also is a good thing - much better to let it out than keep it in. Although you have your moments you sound a very strong person with a great lot of love

Love - Seli

Thumper

I dont really know much about SH, only what I have seen on TV, But It sounds like you have both dealt with it very well, and your daughter Amber must really trust you to be able to confide in you about it.

Hope you all stay Positive, Big Hugs to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

redhead

My friends daughter as started to self harm reason not known as she won't open up sadly her arms are in a mess ,mostly the upper arm were its hidden ,mum only noticed when she walked in the bathroom and saw the cuts , her reaction was shouting which didn't help but like she said it was the shock, they have sat down and talked but mum feels she's not getting anywhere she's really concerned for her but getting help has not been easy docs don't seem that bothered ,as adughter won't go to docs and not a lot he can do until he sees her so any advice you can give Piggypetal I will pass on to her , at what age did your daughter start cutting ? my friends daughter started at 16 . so pleased things are looking better for Amber , do you now what caused her to harm if not to personal?

Piggypetal

Amber was 13 when she started late last year, she had a lot of bottled up feelings about her Dad, we split before she was born and he hasn't seen her since she was 13 months old...his decision. She just didn't know how to approach it with me so bottled it all up. On top of that she was being bullied serverly at school everything just got too much and when she couldn't handle things anymore she'd cut herself as a release. It's a bit like a pressure cooker building up inside thats the only way she could relieve things.

If she doesn't want to the see the doctor it could be she isn't ready to accept she has a problem and wants to stop. Tell your friend that no matter how hard things seem not to blame herself and if her daughter cuts herself again not to make huge deal out of it, she will be feeling guilty enough that she's done it already, now her mum knows thats the first step she needs to make sure her daughter knows if she's feeling like harming herself she's there to talk to instead. It's worth finding out if theres a local youth counselling service in your area, they may have a long waiting list but you don't need to be referred and our one here teens can contact them directly and it's the teens choice whether parents are informed at all they were fantastic with Amber. If she can find something like that they may be able to help her enough to want to pursue help from the GP.

I'll PM you in a little while with some sites and groups who may be able to help her.

Selious5

Hi Sarah
just popped in to say hello and hope things are going ok for Amber and for yourself and to let you know that I am thinkin gof you both

lovexxxx

Piggypetal

Thanks Seli! It's appreciated, she's having a great time at my brother's (I've had plenty of picture messages to prove it lol). Although her break has now been extended by a few days....my sister was planning on inviting her for a few days of half term so as soon as they get home to my mum's she's picking her up so she can spend a few days with my nephews while they don't have school to interrupt their Amber time lol. So she'll be home on the 29th....I miss her but I'm glad she isn't ringing me constantly it shows just how much stronger she's become since she last went anywhere for a visit.

Piggypetal

Just a lil update really, Amber came home early, she decided she'd missed us too much and will go stay with my sister for a few days in a few weeks time. The break has been great for her helped her take a step back and look at things from new angles and just being able to relax and go out and about without fearing who's round the corner helped a lot. I've told her about the site and she said she'll have a nose later and will probably join up! Anyway after almost 3 weeks of peace it's manic here now as both her best freinds have come round lol It's good to have the peace shattered again though.

Serenity

That's great Sarah! Im so glad Amber has had some time away and enjoyed herself, even if it was cut short. All kids get homesick so she's no different.

You're like me, I bet you love all the comotion of having kids and their mates around you lol MAD aren't we!

Piggypetal

Thumper

That's really good news Sarah, I bet you are glad to have her home, It will lovely if she joins here, will be nice to get to know her

Selious5

So glad that things are going better Sarah for Amber and yourself at the moment. How would she feel if she joined the site and found she had been discussed here? Could she handle that at the moment? It would certainly give her an interest and there are lots of goods things to do on here as well as other good-hearted people. Perhaps a consideration, if she decided to join and you felt a little anxious about this thread, then it could be deleted. I am sure no-one would mind under the circumstances. Just a wee suggestion

Piggypetal

Thanks for the concern Seli, Amber's fully aware of the thread and is fine with it, if she can help someone else deal with self harming she's all for it.

Avenged_Romance

hey hey.

I'm Amber.

I'm fine with people talking about me especially if my experience can help others. But thanx for the concern.

redhead

hi Amber great to hear from you , how you doing ? what are you up to ? look forward to chatting I'm an oldie , so go easy on the abbrev hug "n" kisses coming your way

Serenity

Hi there Amber2 ( i'll call you that as there's anothr Amber lol) big hugs coming your way (((((((( Amber))))))))), its great you have such a mature attitude, and you are right that these threads might help someone in the future. Even more so, knowing you're here at the site and enjoying life! and not hiding from your issues

WTG you !

Selious5

Hi Amber love - how are you doing? Glad to see that you have come on board to join us. Life isn't always easy sweetheart but you've made a grand start so look forward to your chat - just join in and enjoy yourself

Amber

Woot woot, for a mo i was confused and that is easy for me, i was thinking i'm sure i never posted that

after looking back at previous post i understand,

SO hi there to young Amber, , I just love them name., to mean it gives a sense of pure, beauty, a sparkling little crystal set out to make a difference ,

i'll stop there else i'll be waffling on,
You take care my love and know that here is a place you can vent anytime.