chibi_steph18
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When you have a bad day...When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just
need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know,
take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten
to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on
me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her,
I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled
"You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word
'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.
I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly
called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.
I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.
I noticed a "For Sale " sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first
asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better
call the BMW asshole, too, and gave him the same treatment.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for
sale?" He said, "Yes, it is."
I asked, "Can you tell me where I can
see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?" He said , "My name is Don Hansen."
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said,
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an asshole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
I called Asshole #1. He said, "Hello." I said, "You're an asshole!" I
didn't hang up.
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He screamed, "Stop calling me!"
I said, "Make me."
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung
up.
Then I called Asshole #2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, asshole."
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass,"
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm
coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately
called the police, saying that I lived
at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there
to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
Blvd. in Fairfax
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax . I got there just
in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in
front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.
It REALLY cheered me up!
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Thumper
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LMFAO, Loved that one 
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Serenity
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pmsl tFF!!!
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Amber
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Oh brilliant,
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daxxxx
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loved it !
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northern lass
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i seriously laughed out loud! it really brightened my day 
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knewlove
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It is a classic! One of the best! Everytime I hear it it never fails to crack me up 
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