Step/foster Parenting

Amber · Member User Online: Joined: 28 Sep 2007 Posts: 381

Reading about being step kid's makes me wonder how things will go for my son who is a step dad. though he became a step dad when the child was 1yr old the little girl is now 4yrs, she see's her father every 3rd weekend and he is dad, my son was first called daddy craig but the little one has now started to call him daddy--- he sooo good with her and treats her no differently to his own son, but i wonder how things will progress as she gets older and understands more. Umm food for thought i think. I'm sure the time will come when she say's "your not my dad"

Dreama · CC&S User Online: Joined: 09 Jan 2008 Posts: 349

i think if they become step parents to very young children there isn't normally a problem because the children have grown up knowing no different. The problems are usually when a step parent enters the family when the children are a bit older because they're more set in their ways and the step parent feels like an intruder. i had a step father from being 13, and i never accepted him and we had a very difficult relationship. My step mother on the other hand, we met her when i was 15 and we got on fine until she married my dad about a year later, when the problems started. i don't suppose i was an easy teenager, but one of her 'rules' was that my mother wasn't aloud to ring me at home, and if she did she threatened to take all my xmas presents away from me. my brothers' and my nickname for her was the fire breathing pitmonster pmsl.
only now, in the last year or so i would say (i'm 36 now) have we got along better, but she hasn't changed, i have. i've let the past go and try not to let her wind me up anymore.
i would say my experiences have probably featured in me staying on my own with my children, i'm not saying step families don't work because theres a lot that definitely do and are better for them, but i think i'd be happier waiting until my children are grown up.
_________________
An egotist has one point in his favor - he doesn't go around talking about other people!

Serenity · Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 7:05 am Post subject:

I think you're right, it does seem easier when step parents are introduced to the children at a younger age. Christ, it's hard enough dealing with teenagers when they are your own kids, yet alone someone else coming into the family and trying lol

I remember when I was 14, and my mum newly divorced started dating men, and I remember being SOOO jealous, of the attention she was giving her new man. It was irrational of course, but very real, I think there's that much stuff going on in a teenagers head anyway, this just adds to the pressures. Thankfully, these things sorted themselves out, as I'm sure they do in most cases, but for those that don't get sorted, it must be a long hard road all round

_________________