Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 1:17 pm Post subject: Bullying at School.
I was bullied a lot during my secondary school days, especially in the last two years. I was almost 6 foot and of course I stood out in a crowd. This made me a target for most of the bullies in my own year and the upper year. I had no confidence at all and wouldn't dare stick up for myself. I'd often walk home, to be taunted by the gangs of so called ' hards'. Having my hair pulled, being tripped up and kicked. The name calling was never ending. The school never had anti-bullying policies like they have today so really there wasn't a lot I could do about it. I just tried to keep my head down, I'd walk home different ways, I'd hang back in school so I didn't have to face my tormentors. At the time it was quite traumatic and there were times I wish I could have died , so it would stop.
I look back now and wonder what I was so frightened of? Half my tormentors were half the size of me! But when they were together it was harder to be brave against them. But looking back I see how weak and cowardly they really were, they were just people, they weren't super human, and if they as much as said boo to me now they would get more than they expected! It's just a pity it took me till I was grown up to realise this lol. I'd always say try stand up for yourself, no matter how scared you are. TELL someone, a parent, family member, teacher, anyone. You'd be surprised how much it helps to talk about it, rather than bottling it all up and trying to cope on your own.
I'm sure others have better advice, and stories to tell, so hopefully this section can be of some help to you
My son was bullied because of height ,i'm a shortass, he went trough a real tough time and hated school.
My hubby once caught him in his room with a knife to his wrist, my son was broken, but did the school care-- no anti bulling policy my ass.
All they would do was to keep my son back at home time,stay in at break times & teach him on his own. Hello who's the victim
He came home once after being pushed in to a nettle bush, and knocked about by 4 lads
he was bruised and suffered, i went to the police and the lads were taken out of school with the parents and to me were punished as they were locked in a cell for an hour, pleased to say that scared the **** out of them.
The police wanted to take it to court but my son would have had to give evidence which he begged me not to do, so we didn't couldn't put him through that.
Anyhows the lads being locked up did the trick, they left him alone.
he was 13/14 at the time, but that shortass has now grown into a 5-10 hulk which i'm very proud of. me i'm still a shortass
I think good old fashioned shock tactics like locking them up for a few hours should be applied much more freely! Im glad it worked in your sons case, and that was the end to your problems. People need to take bullying very seriously, its devastating the effects it can have on childrens mental health. Bravo to the police in your case. !
I'm glad things got sorted out for your son. It's good to know that some cases do get resolved and the right people punished. We tried all avenues with Amber's school they would tell us that it was being dealt with, then within days it would start up again so we pulled her from the system permanantly in May. Even then we've since had to deal with the same girls carrying on harrassing and threatening her online, death threats posted on websites I gave the police screen shots but they did nothing! They still keep trying to get at her despite her changing her user ID a few times. It's not as regular as it was but here we are 6 months on and they still feel the need to harrass her.
I wasn't bullied at school but my son was - in primary school and a number off incidents made me so mad - particularly if there was any ganging up on one. There were times when I was so anfry that I used to march up to the school and demanded politley but firmly what was being done about it.
He was a clever laddie but although he tried not to show it he did suffer from it badly. Once he got to high school he had a tendency not to make friends. He came home for lunch and a great deal of confidence was knocked out of him..
I was so glad when he got to university that he made a lot of friends and this for him and for me was like a healing process. It takes a lot of years if you have been badly bullied and they need a lot of reassurance and love shown. Knowing what my son came through made me more alert as a teacher to kids in the school. I was really quite harsh on bullies and that became well - known in the school. He is now a chemical engineer working in England looking after himself with not only new friends but many of his uni pals travel down for a week- end but it could have turned out so differently
It's great to hear his acheivements Seli Like you said its a hard road to go down, I found too, that once I had left school, I left the bullies behind . I've had the odd confrontation with people in my adult life. People who like nothing better than to complain to you about things. It used to bring back the old feelings. I'd clam up, not answer back and quite basically let them have a go at me. But over the years, even that has changed. If someone has a go at me about something, I now stand up and say something back! It's a wonderful feeling too
I'm really pleased things worked out well for your son in the end Seli no doubt he's now a much stronger person and one of the "good people" in the world. It just makes me so angry that kids have to suffer this at all and things seem a lot worse than a few years ago, despite all the claims of "anti-bullying policies"
I was also bullied at school, it was by a boy and he was like a giant compared to me and was a big build to. It happend at high school, I remember crying every night dreading having to go the next day. The whole class used to laugh at him to which made him worse. I think it might have been because they were scared of him, not really sure. I can't think of anything he didn't call me to be honest. He was horrible. I remember my maths teacher, she was an angel she really helped me. Although she wasn't able to stop him it was nice to know that she was there for me to talk to about it anytime i needed to. It wasn't until the last two school years that it stopped, And this was because we had the option of picking our own subjects for GCSE's. I remember that i had to take my Art exam and i looked at the list and noticed i was in the same room as him, I couldn't believe it, I went to the head of art and thankfully they had it changed cause i was in tears to him about it, i was that scared.
He dated a girl through school and they dated when we had finished school to. A family friend lived in the same village at the time and was also friends with the girlfriend. I heard that he had changed how he felt about her shortly after we left school. And this poor girl had a breakdown he was that awful to her. How low can someone possibly get. If i was ever to see him again, and he was to mutter a word wrong to me i would give it him back and tell him exactly what i thought of him. If anything just to let all the anger and upset out that he caused me.
My children starting school has been the only thing that i have been worried about, since day one. I am so scared, a hope to god that they never come across what i went through. If they do experience it then i hope that they can stand up to who ever it may be. Unlike i ever could. I get so worried about it that i cry sometimes. y boys are only 1 and 2 years, and its effecting me now. As stupid as it sounds i just can't help it.
All my life people have said to me '' You will regret the day you leave school, because its the best days of your life''. I know for a fact it wasn't mine and i would never go back and face all that again. I would rather cope with the adult life and worries.
Me too Kells! No way would I want to go back, but IF I did, I know that I would have stuck up for myself, it isnt till youre grown up you realise the bullies were only human, not some superhuman that wouldnt get hurt back with retaliation.
We as parent will always worry about something like this, but you can't make yourself ill thinking about it. Just be vigilant when your kids are at school, and if they become withdrawn etc then talk to them, and hopefully they will open up to you and you can sort things out. Always remember too, that if it becomes extreme you can always have home tutors, which I can't remember them having in my day. There are answers and help nowadays, nothing has to be tolerated XX
Serenity,
Sorry to hear you was bullied. Like yourself, for me the bullying took place in them last couple of years. I hated every minute of school and felt trapped because I felt that I couldnt tell anyone about what I was going through. It was mostly name calling and it still hurt and drained nearly all my confidance
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